Apple cash on hand: $24 Billion
Adobe market capitalization: 18.74B
Apple can buy Adobe and have money left over to buy every employee a new Prius.
When Apple says, “Shit,” Adobe should ask, “How much and what color?”
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RIP Jerome York.
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It’s humbling to note that when Harry Chapin was my age, he’d already been dead for 15 years.
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The innertubes are abuzz with news about all the tablet computers that will give the iPad a run for its money.
I can’t find a name for the HP Tablet. There was a prototype at CES, right? There has been a new version of Safari since then. The frigging thing should at least have a name by now.
I see a Dell netbook that calls itself a tablet: The Latitude XT2. It has a full keyboard that rotates almost spherically with the screen. It runs Genuine Windows 7 Professional. Bwahahahahahaha.
I can see The Master laying awake at night for several seconds, thinking, “Maybe I should double my annual salary.”
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Can we talk?
Can somebody tell me which phone is the major competitor for the iPhone. Okay, there’s the Blackberry. But it was here first. It’s entitled. I mean, since the iPhone was introduced, where’s the iPhone killer? Where’s the iPhone wannabe that earns that distinction?
The recent players have pretty much sucked, though. The Palm Pre is not shaking up the market. Android may be almost technologically equivalent to the iPhone and devoid of AT&T drippings, but it still isn’t selling quite as well as long underwear in Hell.
I wonder why?
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OS X 10.6.3 will be out soon. This is big news. We’ve had OS X 10.6.2 since, like, quite a while ago. I’d look up when but I don’t care. So the idea that a second-dot upgrade to the OS might appear is worthy of some inches of bandwidth.
Okay then.
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RIP Fess Parker.
If you’re too young to remember Fess Parker, it was his portrayal of Davy Crockett in the mid-50s that sparked the coonskin cap fad. Later, he played Daniel Boone.
I will never forget watching Daniel Boone as a child.
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You could have morality on television in those days.
If you’re too young to remember when the Girl Scouts didn’t partner with Planned Parenthood to teach masturbation, you might not remember.
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It turns out the Nexus One isn’t doing so well.
After my post last night about the big ruckus between Apple and Google, Forbes posted a thing that said the Nexus One isn’t selling a lot of SKUs.
Apparently, they’re only selling well in places where basements are large and well appointed. If you live in a basement that does not have a bathroom with a shower, you’re less likely to own a Nexus One than if your basement has all the modern conveniences. Apparently you have to be a fairly successful Open Source programmer to be able to afford the Google-Jesus (202,000,000 results) phone.
Of course, all of your friends are posting to the Android App Store, so Pee-Casa, Dude.
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I read somewhere that Apple is hiring a “wearable computing” expert. Hmmm. iBoxers or iBriefs. I still think my pants should have one button, but maybe His Steveness has a plan for “magic pants.”
I can hardly wait.
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It’s war.
Apple vs. Google
First, let’s compare hardware:
Apple makes: The MacPro, MacBook Pro, MacBook, MacBook Air Jordan, iPod Shuffle, iPod Nano, iPod Classic, iPod Touch, AirPort Extreme, AirPort Express, AppleTV, iPhone 3G and 3G(S), iPad, and a collection of cords and wires to connect them all together.
Google makes: Nexus One.
Let’s look at operating systems:
Apple makes: iLife, iWork, Bento, Filemaker, Quicktime, Aperture, Final Cut,Logic Studio, Safari, iTunes, and a mature operating system.
Google makes: A brand new browser and a brand new operating system that doesn’t even have computers to run.
Let’s look at the businesses, too, shall we?
Apple has software and hardware that the rest of the world still can’t beat. Google has a search engine with a catchy name.
Apple has experience selling their hardware and software. Google has experience clogging up the internet with annoying advertising.
Google is not competition for Apple. Master Jobst Fimil tolerates Google. Apple must maintain the illusion of competition.
It is purely smoke and mirrors.
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Yeah. Okay.
Master Jobst Fimil feels like Google is disloyal for ripping off the iPhone, so he’s bitch-slapping squirrel boy in the media.
Who cares.
Every Anroid is a little victory garden. Apple plowed the field. Google planted the OS seed. Somebody else planted the hardware seeds. Somebody else provided the wireless-service seeds. Who’s job is it to make sure the garden is properly taken care of? You can bet the rest of that can of coffee everybody involved expects a generous share of a bountiful harvest.
All these other phones are going to do more to validate the iPhone than compete with it.
I’m betting His Steveness is artificially maintaining that whole firestorm for effect. In the very near future, the smartphone market will be as important to Apple as the dot-matrix printer market.
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Apple is so kicking the tech-planet’s ass right now.
The argument on the innertubes about the iPad’s technical this-and-that is distracting Apple’s “competition.”
The argument is by the geeks, for the geeks. Let’s see if I can articulate this.
99% of the argument about the technical merits of various tablets is between people who know the meaning of bus speed and the importance of caching. The argument is about multitasking and Flash and the presence or absence of a camera and the ability to make conference calls on iChat. I can’t keep all the other technical arguments straight in my head, but I’ve read bunches of them.
A lot of the echosphere is occupied by people who work for Apple’s “competitors.” Geeks. Geeks think geek wars mean something, but they don’t. They don’t mean a dogdamn thing. What matters is profit. Apple is making it.
99% of the buyers of the iPad will not be the techturds in flame wars over the technical specifications of the device. It will be Bob the press operator, Mike the plumber, Jim the cashier, Debbie the stock clerk, Joe the insurance adjuster, Linda the housewife – people who don’t give a rat’s hat size about computers. The buyers will be people who just want to be able to send and receive emails, surf the web, download porn videos, and buy books from Amazon.com. The buyers will buy tons of the damn things.
Note: When Apple announced pre-orders for April 3 delivery of iPads, the Apple Store crashed from all the traffic. That doesn’t look to me like Apple is going to have a stockpile of the shitty things in a Cupertino warehouse.
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If Adrian-Kingsley Hughes farts in the forest, and there’s nobody there to hear it, does it matter any less than his blog?
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The PC is dead.
No. I’m not kidding.
They won’t disappear overnight, but they will soon be as hard to find as wired telephones. Oddly, the last places that will still have PCs will be the places that currently have wired phones: Offices.
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Content creation will still require a robust machine. 99% of people don’t create content.
Web development will be easier on a large screen with a big keyboard. Web developers are a minority.
Surfing, emailing, listening to Tito Fuentes albums will take care of the needs of most owners. The iPad will handle all of that.
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A little jam session. Please don’t listen to this song if you don’t like irony and sarcasm.
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