Rip Ragged

I’m an optimist with my moon in cynic.

Everywhere you look these days, the pessimists seem to be taking over the discussion. I don’t dislike pessimists, I just dislike pessimism.

Politically, I believe that Barack Obama has allowed the Democrats and Republicans in government to finally show their true colors. They’re all more interested in personal gratification and in expanding their personal power than in doing anything at all positive for their constituents or the country as a whole. They’re all assholes.

All.

Assholes.

The thing is, this is a positive development. This could usher in a new era of government if enough people get pissed off at the incumbents.

I’m in.

If Obamacare dies, we will know for sure that the tipping point is here.

Obamacare may survive as a political vestige of its former self, but it won’t amount to much.

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I’ve been warned that soon the dollar will crash. While I appreciate the heads up, my belief is that a dollar collapse will be about: Meh. The dollar hasn’t been worth a tinker’s shit for quite some time. An ounce of gold is selling for over $1000. One thousand pictures of George Washington for a single ounce of refined dirt.

Bah.

There’s a collapse coming? Beneath that?

Who cares?

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I keep buying stock in American companies, mostly companies that pay dividends, because I believe the system has too many big players to just fold up shop. If it doesn’t fold up shop, it has to continue to have rules that protect those who play within the rules.

The learned men of the world know that they must have a working capitalist system to sustain the world and allow the idiots to have their communist and socialist fantasies.

In other words, the stock market will be fine.

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Terrorism is becoming something of a farce. Threats from the stone age. Mainstream Muslims view terrorists the way mainstream Christians view people who murder abortion doctors. It’s like, “I agree with his politics, but there are better ways to get the job done. Murder is not Godly.”

Lots of Christians hate abortion, but we don’t advocate murdering the doctors. Yet there are morons out there, claiming to be Christians, blowing up abortion clinics and blowing abortion doctors away. That’s our form of terrorism.

Terrorism is stupid. To paraphrase a biblical quote, “The stupid you will always have.”

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Over simplistic? Skipping over nuance? Okay.

Over and over and over I’ve seen the end times predicted in my half-century on the planet. So far the gloom and doom hasn’t come to pass.

Maybe someday it will.

Maybe right now all the stars have lined up and we’re all going to be doing forced marches into labor camps any minute now. If that’s the case, there’s no sense wasting any of this free time feeling dread. We might as well enjoy it while we have it.

I’m gonna have another beer.

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Rock and Roll accordion: you must see it to believe it –

If you get that right, everything else should be fine.

Let’s just leave it at that for tonight.

I have a friend who just switched from an iPhone to a Droid. He likes it.

Dang.

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Rumors are circulating about iPhone 4.0. The new features I’m hearing about are a little worrisome:

Multitouch-á-trois ultra will accept commands from as many as six independent fingers.

Leather cases will also have to include lace trim.

It will run a native version of Eudora.

Pull my finger.

Code name is: Siamese

You can’t make this stuff up, folks. I can, but you can’t. I mean, it’s my blog, after all.

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Fortune named Apple, “World’s most admired company.”

They also named their cat, “Missy,” and their goldfish, “Herman.”

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The March ‘04 Rolling Stone is out.

I know. Fuck Rolling Stone. I usually agree with that assessment.

This one is a collector’s edition, though. There’s an interview with Eric Clapton and Jeff Beck. The two of them. Together.

It’s written well enough that most of the meaning of the interview is between the lines.

As far as I’m concerned there are no two guitarists more worthy of note than Clapton and Beck in the last thirty years. Slash is coming along. Johnny A is excellent. Stevie Ray Vaughaan was magnificent, and might have stolen the march. Sadly, he died when he was far too young.

Living rock guitar icons don’t live that are greater than Beck and Clapton. If you’re unfamiliar with Jeff Beck, download the album Blow by Blow for a starter kit. Then download Wired. The go find anything at all by the Jeff Beck Group. The Jeff Beck Group used to have this singer named Rod Stewart. He was pretty good.

Jeff Beck and Eric Clapton also used to play in a little band called “The Yardbirds.” Not at the same time, of course.

Anyway, if you give half a shit about rock and roll music, you should buy and read the new Rolling Stone.

On the off chance you think one or the other of Clapton and Beck are overrated, fuck you.

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In the world of Apple, Steve Jobs is being accused of bad things. To see if you’re in the know, take our simple quiz.

Steve Jobs is committing the unspeakable crime of:

a. Using child labor to construct iPods

b. Beating employees for leaking secrets

c. Eating a double cheeseburger at a company picnic

d. Using iPhone v. 3.1.2

If you guessed ‘d,’ you’re right. I’m offended.

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Yeah. That Jeff and Eric.