Reading around the innertubes today, it seems that Dan Lyons will be surprised if Master Jobst Fimil is running Apple at the end of the year. FSJ is worried about the health of the Master.

Bah.

…

That notion pissed me off enough that I went down and actually turned on the television and surfed around the channels for a few minutes. There was a recent interview with George Carlin. He sounded like a rational, sane human being. That is not how I want to remember him.

Dammit.

…

Then we watched The Bucket List. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman are beyond a doubt two of the best actors who ever read a script. Weird movie, but full of morality plays and emotional hot-button pushing.

I like it.

It left me in a somber mood, though. I did not kick a cat. I did bark at one. That seemed to help.

…

There are a couple of bozos typing somewhere about Android. It’s going to take developers away from the iPhone. Actually, the story goes that Apple is going to force developers over there by handpicking applications. 

That, friends and neighbors, is an asinine observation by people who have no clue how Steve Jobs and Apple have laid the table. The iPhone apps aren’t going to be picked based on weird, arbitrary, who’s-your-buddy bullshit. They’ll be approved based on whether they’re compatible with the user experience of the iPhone. 

That means they’ll have to do whatever they do very well, and compatibly with the rest of the apps on the phone. Great apps will make the cut. Sorry-ass second- and third-rate apps will continue to be available on all kinds of other platforms. Android will attract the second rate programmers who either can’t or won’t write first-rate stuff, or who don’t have the guts to risk being rejected by Apple in the first place.

When (if?) Android becomes something more real than a fairy princess, that is. Until then, while all those developers are off writing for Android in the hopes that their crap will be easier to sell, the good stuff will be downloaded onto tens of millions of iPhones. 

Some good programmers will become really rich programmers.

The chumps who haven’t got the stones to face Apple’s Application QA will be writing for a vaporous nonentity that may never amount to zune.

Open source, multi-corporation, multi-board-meeting, gaggle-of-egos, hodgepodge systems can not compete with a twenty-billion-dollar autocratic focused strategy.

Can. Not.

Unfortunately, the die-hards won’t learn. Not even when Android loses its lead as the most promising vaporware.

Android isn’t even good FUD.

…

I’ll bet a dozen fresh AA large eggs I retire before Steve Jobs does.

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Oh, man! We’re out of diet cream soda and rubber bands? I’m bummed.