Around in innertubes in one swell foop.

Stephen Wildstrom does a rather silly analysis of the whole Android versus iPhone thing. Not that the analysis was bad or anything, it was just silly. After comparing the claims of Android against the reality of iPhone he finally says he can’t really review Android until he has a phone running it to play with.

Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. Android doesn’t exist. 

Here are some easy calls. Assuming they actually do everything they’re rumored to do:

Santa Claus is better than Jerry Seinfeld.

The Easter Bunny is better than Paul McCartney.

The Tooth Fairy is better than George Clooney.

Android is better than the iPhone.

Lots of imaginary things are better than lots of real things. Android can be lots better than iPhone right now because it’s a myth. Let’s see how it stacks up when and if it actually comes into being on a phone that people can actually buy and use.

John Gruber reports that he’s rooting for Android with the caveat that he doesn’t really believe it.

I’d like to see Android become real and viable and useful. Apple shouldn’t be without competition. That leads to stagnation; it leads to complacency; it leads to Microsoft.

…

There must be a hundred frigging sites yipping about the imminent demise of Steve Jobs. Financial sites, tech sites, entertainment sites, plumbing and hardware sites, sites with recipes for crack and meth, sites that are nothing but ads and links to porn sites, farming sites, sites on gay and lesbian issues, children’s sites. They all want to know who’s on deck. They want to know what the succession plan is. Who will step in when The Master steps down?

It all started when Baxtrice posted that Steve Jobs needed a sandwich.

Dammit, young lady. You be more careful.

Apple said he has a “common bug.” He’s probably just fine.

This reminds me of the “Paul is Dead” hoax in the sixties.

That was stupid, too.

…

Paul Thurott typed something.

I read it. He wants Microsoft to stop that giant sucking sound. He thinks Redmond should start to act like a good cyber citizen instead of the digital highwaymen they’ve always been.

Might as well ask Congress to be accountable to live by the laws they pass. Ask a dog to meow, give milk, lay eggs, and get her big ass out of The View. (Wait, some of that might work.)

Anyway, you can find a link to the article on MacDailyNews. It’s right at the beginning of an asinine flame war. All you have to do is wait five or six minutes while all the ads load.

…

There are a couple of reported Trojans for Mac.

Yo. Dickheads. Would you please abbreviate properly? They aren’t condoms; they’re Trojan Horse programs. So named because they come as hidden attachments to files you may actually want. You know, like the soldiers hiding inside the big prophylactic in ancient Sparta (or was that Pompeii? I never can keep that stuff straight).

Chumps.

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Has anyone ever tried to make a statue of Pee Wee Herman out of margarine? It seems like you could if you wanted to.