Microsoft is so certain they have everything locked up in the OS arena that they’re firing up the FUD machine for Windows 7. According to TG Daily, Microsoft will start unveiling features in the OS in October at their Professional Developer Conference – which should be well attended by people who are finished up with their iPhone projects and looking for something to amuse themselves with.

The new bloatware OS, which is due to start having its release delayed in late 2009, promises to bring a multitouch user interface to personal computers. So instead of just keyboarding in text, you’ll have to lean forward to move application windows around on the desktop, and get two hands smudging lunch all over your monitor to zoom in to the part of the photo of the picnic you actually want to show people. You’ll have to clean the fingerprints off the monitor four or five times a week.

Nobody knows of anything useful being touted as a new feature. 

A lot of people wonder how Windows 7 gets its number. The first actual shipping version of the BSOD was Windows 3.1. Then in no particular order came Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows Me, Windows NT (3.1, 3.5, 3.51, and 4.0), Windows 2000, Windows 2003, Windows XP and then Windows Vista, which actually makes Windows 7 the thirteenth or so version of the world’s leading third-rate operating system.

Actually, the number seven results from adding the four horsemen of the apocalypse with Moe, Larry, and Shemp. Windows 8 will acknowledge Curly Joe.

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Apple is going to sell iPhones at Best Buy. I’m pretty sure I’ve already mentioned that in another post, but I want some insurance. Every blog on the innertubes that uses the words “apple,” “mac,” or “jobs,” anywhere in the text must mention iPhone being sold at Best Buy. Also Nancy Heinen. Apple is bigger than Google. Yahoo!

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Put the rifle down or nobody gets any more Oreos®.

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Late note on Yahoo! I just found out that John Chapple is being added to the board of directors. I read this last week, but didn’t pay much attention. I thought chapple was a Unix command. Turns out it’s an aging hippie/yuppie (possibly a geek) with a haircut straight out of 1986. Another guy named Biondi is joining the board, too. I don’t think his name has anything to do with the color of the original iMac, but my sources are working that angle.

I have way too much free time.

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Jim Cramer (Motto: It’s okay to be a screaming maniac as long as you have nothing useful to say.) says to buy Google.

Nah.