There’s this former Microsoft employee over on ZDNet. His picture is on the banner. He has one of those big toothpaste ad smiles that would make Donny and Marie Osmond look depressed. John Carroll is the name he uses. Harlot Scarlet lipstick.

His post, “Linux, user interfaces and copying Apple,” is a rambling babble about how the Mac isn’t the ideal development platform (again). Have we not heard that enough times. He is an “old hand” at C++. John, you’re not an old hand at anything, pal. I own RS-232 cables older than you are. I’m willing to bet the last two IPAs in the fridge that I have a CD-ROM drive in the basement that predates your programming days.

Here’s the thing. The niche market is developers and IT managers. The real market is consumers and non geeks. Consumers and non geeks prefer to have their computers work without having to spend the day figuring out why that file won’t open. 

It’s really nice that your wife has a Mac, now.

Shut up.

…

As of now, the Steve Jobs Backdating Scandal is behind us.

Thank the maker. I’ve been feeling guilty about not losing sleep over that for months. Well, not continuously, but from time to time it would occur to me. Kind of like when I told the masturbation joke in the office and wondered for weeks if Nancy was going to report me for sexual harassment.

Since you asked:

Doctor: Mr. Jones, you have to stop masturbating.

Patient: Why?

Doctor: So I can finish the examination.

…

Well, shit. I drank the last two IPAs in the fridge. Wifey-poo bought me a Cuban stogie when she was on travel. That makes up for it. Sort of.

…

T-Mobile is going to get the first crack at Android. That should be quite nice. I went over to Technorati this afternoon. They have several T-Mobile ads on their site. Video. They didn’t work. That’s encouraging.

…

Russia doesn’t like that we’re going to put a nuclear deterrent in Poland.

That seems analogous to a story I heard this week from a Fire Fighter in one of my classes. He said he was in a brothel in Vegas recently. One of the girls told him that some of the other girls didn’t like the smell of his cigar.

He told her that as soon as she was paying him, he’d start worrying about what her preferences were.

Dear Putnoid,

We can kick your ass. You ain’t the Soviet Union anymore. America can toast your frigging marshmallows and have some s’mores leftover when we’re done. Get the fuck out of Georgia. They’re our allies. And if Poland agrees to a consensual relationship it’s none of your dog damn business.

Watch your ass, spudnik. We’ve  got this Middle East thing about wrapped up, and we don’t want our boys to get bored.

…

Little Psystar (pronounced: SIS-ter) claims they’re still shipping clones. Good thing, too. When Apple’s lawyers break them down like a shotgun and load them for bear it will be good to have them holding a steaming cookie in their fingers.

…

ZDNet has something about a BlackBerry killer. Or is it a BlackBerry Razr Killer, or a non-existent flip-phone version of the BlackBerry. Maybe it’s about the Thunder.

At the end of the article, Natasha Lomas speculates the the lack of any discernible road map amounts  to RIM taking a page out of Apple’s play book.

In Natasha’s little world, not telling her what you’re doing is the same as not knowing what you’re doing.

The page has BlackBerry ads all over it.

…

Do what you want with it. I have to walk the parapet. I didn’t even know we owned a parapet. I sure didn’t know it needed walked.