Journalism is Dead. Long Live the Blogosphere.

January 15th, 2009 · 6 Comments · Distant Flame Wars, Master Jobst Fimil, Punditbots and Fundtards, The End of the World as We Know It

I don’t know where I read it first, but somebody suggested that Steve Jobs might need to have his pancreas removed. That possibility is being reported as news. Mostly, if I’m just in the blogosphere, I can ignore people reporting monumentally stupid things as news. There are times, though, when additional questions have to be asked.

I need a couple of blanks filled in before I consider the pancreas report’s medical experts credible:

  1. Did the medical experts examine Steven P. Jobs in the last 12 months?
  2. Did the medical experts review the results of Steven P. Jobs’ diagnostic and lab exams?
  3. Did the medical experts consult with surgeons and pancreas specialists with the results of Steven P. Jobs’ diagnostic and lab exams?
  4. If not, did the medical experts express that pancreatic removal was one of thousands of possibilities for treatment of Steven P. Jobs’ condition?

The symptoms we have public access to don’t lend themselves to a single diagnosis. Any medical expert making a diagnosis based on the information available without examining the patient is a quack who shouldn’t be trusted.

Any journalist who thinks a doctor can give a diagnosis under those conditions is an idiot who shouldn’t be trusted.

But what the hell. If you’re just a blogtard, go ahead and be irresponsible. But if you’re a blogtard writing under the auspice of Bloomberg.com, I just have to think you’re an asshole for publishing something this irresponsible.

The doctors didn’t diagnose the condition, but the reporters – John Lauerman and Jason Gale – spin it negatively enough to make it look like a death sentence.

It makes me want to throw up.

Punks.

My health expert tells me that Steve Jobs’ weight loss is indicative of either anorexia nervosa, rabies, or a severely ingrown left big toenail.

I think he’s just tired of vegetarian food and needs a thick slab of ribeye steak, medium rare, and a glass of chilled pale ale.

Don Reisinger made a video. He thinks we should applaud Steve Jobs’ courage. I thing we should applaud the iPhone, iPod, iTunes Store, App Store, Macintosh, OS X, and just generally every technological innovation since 1976 that built off of the original personal computer. You know, like spreadsheets and word processing and WYSIWYG desktop publishing and the world wide web (originally built on a NeXT).

Yeah, Woz was the tinkerer that made the first computer, but without the Reality Distortion Field it never leaves the garage, kids.

Applaud Steve Jobs, boys and girls, but applaud his accomplishments.

The decisions he’s making related to his illness are life choices.  We’ll all be faced with something like that at some point. You go through it because you have to, not because you’re brave.

Just a quick note: Everybody thinks Tim Cook can handle everything just fine. Even Philip Elmer-Dewitt. There are 462,258,403 sites remarking on Tim Cook at the moment. I link the PE-D one because there’s a cute little flame war under it.

There’s one retard who’s still stuck on the “Apple has a niche market” meme. Yup. Roughly 8% of the market according to what I read. The high end. The profitable part of the market. There’s a problem for Apple. Damn that niche.

Another idiot who stayed anonymous said that we’re deluded if we think we don’t have malware. Then some other bozo babbled about security by obscurity. It’s like these pea-brains have missed the last five years entirely.

You have to read it to believe that the original post went up since 2003, much less today.

They must be IT managers.

….

Oh well. I think I’ll play a game for a while.

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6 Comments so far ↓

  • baxtrice

    The things I have read about Steve Jobs’ health are enough to make me turn off my computer and kill cute bunnies. (I haven’t yet..)

    There’s a phrase; “armchair quarterback” I think it is..And the internet is chock full of ‘em. And they all spout the dumbest, most retarded stuff on the planet. Anybody within reach of a keyboard and internet access can spout off nonsense, and that is exactly what is going on with the “STEVE JOBS’ haz cancer and iz gunna DIE fabois!!!!11!! TEH END OF APPLE!!!”

    We’ve heard it all before. All I have to say is; My iMac and my MacBook Pro STILL kick your shitty ass Windows Box all over the room.

    Thank you Steve J and Woz. Get Well El Jobso.

  • digitalcowboy

    What does the tech world do when Steve shrugs?

    I see subterfuge. He’s so damn clever!

    (He’ll work harder and accomplish more of significance while on “medical leave” than most other CEO’s could even imagine on their best Monday morning.)

  • digitalcowboy

    Oh yeah… I almost forgot:

    You’re right about that steak thing, too. A vegan lifestyle is foolish and a ticket to an early grave.

    Somebody get the Master a big glass of pork fat, stat!

  • blank

    Wonder what they eat on Vega’s inhabited planet(s)?

  • Yellow Birdman

    Here’s a good reason why Steve Jobs isn’t absorbing nutrients properly: too much Vaseline to cure all those hairballs. The petroleum jelly is coating his stomach and intestinal linings making them unable to absorb all that veggie goodness. If his owner lays off the Vaseline as hairball remedy he should be back to normal within a few days.

  • Peter

    I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.