Rip Ragged

Safari 4 Beta rocks.

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The Master, who was actually born 54 years ago today, moved his birthday to yesterday officially in honor of George Harrison. If you follow popular music closely, you’ll remember that George Harrison recorded a couple of albums in the late 80′s with a little-known group called “The Traveling Wilburys.” He also had some modest solo success after a brief stint with an obscure British quartet in the sixties.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, Steve.

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Apple had the stockholders’ meeting today. The report is: “Would you people kindly shut the fuck up about netbooks? When I want to talk about new products, I’ll let you know.”

Tim Cook is also reported to have noted, “We’re a company here, people. One frigging employee is having a sabbatical. There’s thirty-some-odd-thousand OTHER employees here. We all came to work today. We think we can pick up Steve’s slack. Can we move on to the rest of the fucking report PLEASE?” Also, “Is there ANYTHING else on your barely functioning rat-like little minds? Anything at ALL?”

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Matt Asay, one of the highly entitled open sorcerers who types over on CNET, opines that Firefox is better than Safari. He’s probably right. If you want everything to be massively configurable, with lots of plug-ins and add-ons, a new frigging upgrade every couple of weeks, a constantly changing interface, and a license to write self-congratulatory crap about the open-source-we’re-so-much-smarter-than-you-plain-folks community, Firefox is definitely the shizzle. If you want a reliable browser that works every time you start it up, and a browser uses existing web standards, Safari 4 rocks.

Guess what Safari 4, Android, Symbian, and iPhone browsers have in common.

WebKit.

Mozilla has a “community.” Do you know what a community has that a single company who controls the whole widget doesn’t have?

Inertia.

And by the way, that inertia has an angular velocity carrying it a different direction than the rest of the internet.

Sorry Matt. The direction of the Web has switched to mobile. Apple has the ball. Mozilla isn’t even on the court. You’re calling a game Apple isn’t even playing anymore.

Netscape is SO last week.

Game over, Matt. Go write free apps for Android.

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Al Gore was reelected. He must be proud.

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This site will no longer add new reports discussing the general suckiness of Vista. I’ve given this a good deal of thought, and it no longer makes sense to make fun of Vista. It was childish and stupid to persist as long as we did on such a tired joke.

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Windows 7 sucks.

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Goodnight Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are.