Sweet St. Darwin of the Galapgos, this movie is slow! No wonder it’s nearly three hours long. About two hours of it so far have been monuments to the egos of Stone and DePalma.

Seriously, blimps with personal messages at critical points in your life? Where were those when Stone and DePalma were foisting this mess on us? Surely the blimps were running, “Don’t embarrass yourself this way!”)

I’ve never seen it before tonight but always wanted to. I still haven’t seen it because I can’t pay attention to this snooze-fest. I can’t tell you how much I hate this movie.

Everything of value in this movie I’ve already quoted because I heard other people doing it for years. (“Say hello..” and “First you get the money…”)

A couple lines don’t make a classic movie.

This 170 minute movie should be five minutes and a Google search. If you haven’t seen it, watch the important parts on youtube. Everything’s there. It’ll take about five minutes.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanboi rants.

It cost me $615 with shipping and before rebates. Eventually, my net cost will be $585. When Steve finds me something that can run Windows for $85, I’ll start listening to his blather and pretending it’s relevant.

If he can point me to something that does – with Windows – everything this Mac does for less money, I’ll PAY him $85.

This Mac has physically disappeared into my home theater set up because it’s six and a half inches square and completely silent. It hasn’t vanished completely, though – Everything ever displayed on my TV now goes through it.

With a little bit of programmed help from a Logitech Harmony remote, I’m now watching movies on demand (with Dolby Digital Surround sound and DVD quality) from Netflix in addition to complete DVR functionality with both digital broadcast and satellite TV.

Scarface is on right now.

And – when I’m done typing here – I’ll be back to work building a new web app and using that same movie-playing Mac – simultaneously – as a fully POSIX compliant test and development web server that mirrors my production servers online, running MySQL with Apache and PHP. (That makes it a business expense.)

What’re Dell and Microsoft offering again?