Rip Ragged

Master Jobst Fimil is alive. Not that you’d know by the way the fuctard press is presenting things. Forbes posted a thingy called “Stalking Steve Jobs,” in which some twit wandered around the Cupertino campus trying to trick the secretaries, code monkeys, accountants, and industrial hygienists on their lunch breaks into releasing felines from organic bamboo shopping sacks. Then twitburger skulked around the parking lot to see if His Steveness drove his own car to work.

The notion seemed to be, well if The Master is alive and back at work we should be able to report a confirmed sighting.

This was in Forbes. FORBES. B.C. and Malcom are spinning like gyroscopes in their graves. Come on Steve, get a grip.

I’m not providing a link. I’d have to assume some responsibility for that tripe if I did.

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The rest of the financial/tech press is, of course, no better. BusinessWeak has a caricature of Steve Ballmer on the cover this week. The article the picture is supposed to support claims that Microsoft is actively defending its empire. I read the whole article, so you don’t have to.

Summary: Microsoft has figured out that the internet is a real thing. They are cobbling together a business model for the internet. The basis for that business model is that nobody can possibly operate a business without Microsoft products. This is known in educated circles as a “Failing” business model.

Windows is in the toilet. Office is dying. And the rotten bastards stopped supporting Flight Simulator for Mac. With the exception of a single version of Word, Flight Simulator was the only Microsoft Mac program worth the price of enough whiskey to forget quickly. Chumps.

[Discussion question: Is "Caricature of Steve Ballmer" redundant or an oxymoron?]

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For some reason the tech/financial press is unwilling to say the obvious: The iPhone 3G S is kicking some serious BOO-TAY in the marketplace. A friend of mine who wants one went to the AT&T Store over the weekend. They told him it would be two to three weeks.

Once again, an Apple product is selling faster than Apple can build it.

And the fuctards that write about it can’t figure it out.

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There’s another thing of note in BusinessWeak: Stephen Wildstrom has written a quasi-review of a new Dell iMac wannabe. It’s an “all-in-one” computer with a wireless keyboard and mouse. It’s “sleek” and “stylish.” I think that means it will be very popular among those who are looking to move from their parents’ basements to secondhand double-wides. I can’t even find the dogdamn thing on Dell’s home page. They must be VERY excited about it.

I would be.

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Rod Stewart was a star when there was only the Jackson four, and he’s still kicking.