Really. It’s pretty grim out there if you’re a tech punditbot or fundtard. Apple went ahead and announced the iPad.
It doesn’t have Flash. That’s the big frigging news. The imbeciles can’t even bitch about cut and paste on this one. Most of them have gone back to posing as 14-year old girls in IRC chat rooms.
…
Here in a few weeks Apple will start selling the iPad. I don’t know if I’ll be an early adopter. I might wait a week or two; let the lines get a little shorter.
…
I have a feeling that Apple will keep selling Macs for a while – right up until there’s a tipping point with the other hardware. I’ll bet there’s a time, a couple of years away, when Apple will begin licensing the OS.
The tipping point will come when Apple no longer needs to sell desktop and laptop computers. When Apple can make its money selling handheld devices, they may license OS X to computer companies. Apple will have to approve each model number that bears an “OS X Ready” sticker. The “Intel Inside” sticker will be a cost of business. The Apple sticker will be a reward for good design.
…
Go read this. Pay close attention. There will be a quiz.
…
If you go over to Mecca and look at the shiny things, you’ll notice the pictures of the iMessiah. Look carefully at the screens. Look at the dock with it’s reflective floor. Apple has been setting us up for the iPad for ten years with OS X. Then finally, with the iPhone and iTouch, they made everything work in miniature.
Now that we’ve accustomed ourselves to teeny-weeny, they offer the compromise. It’s bigger and easier than a phone. It’s smaller and easier to carry than a laptop.
It will recite fairy tales to the little ones.
It smells like a tulip garden in spring.
It repels electromagnetic pulses from 100 kiloton nuclear air detonations from as close as fifteen miles.
It glows in the dark and makes perfect steamed rice.
It never asks for sensitive information.
It will never tell your mom (or your spouse) about what went on at that party in the 10th grade.
It’s Steve Largent, Barry Sanders, Dick Butkus, Mike Singletary, and Joe Montana in one nice neat package.
It’s Elvis, but without the rhinestones.
…
I don’t care what he does when he’s offstage. I just buy good music.


That OS licensing prediction – was that sarcasm or for real?
It’s either brilliant humor that’s beyond me or abject stupidity. I’m open to either as an explanation.