The iStuff market

January 21st, 2012 · No Comments · Android, Apple Tablet, General Detritus, iPad, iPad killer, iPhone, iPhone killer, Tablet

I bet a bag of roasted, salted pistachios and a bottle of Pale Ale Apple is paying the press to write about Android and iPhones and market share.

Only a conspiracy could be so completely friendly to Apple. They keep reassuring Apple’s competitors that Android has the market share, is activated on bazillions of phones a day; everything is alright. Close your eyes and go to sleep and don’t worry about the big, bad, Apple bogeyman.

If all of the tech-trolls really hated Apple, they’d be reporting that the biggest-selling phones on the planet are iPhones. They’d be warning the competitors about Apple’s business practice; the practices that are burying the competition in their own mistakes.

The tech-troll echosphere continues to ignore that Apple’s throw-enough-mud-on-the-wall lawsuit mill is making Android more expensive directly and indirectly, and will continue to make it less and less “free” as time passes. Apple has enough money to buy and casually discard all the other handset makers. Why don’t they? Apple doesn’t care about them, that’s why. Apple is out to destroy Android. Not by making illegal, but by making unpalatably expensive. Just as an oh-by-the-way, Apple can throw not-very-sticky mud on an oiled wall until the weight of the mud tears the wall down. The legal costs that might destroy a smaller company are a rounding error when you have $100,000,000,000.00 in the bank.

Why isn’t the Apple-hating echosphere reporting that? Apple’s paying them to be hush. That’s the only plausible theory I can imagine. Why do they compare Android’s market share against iPhones? Well, it’s because the numbers lull Apple’s competition to sleep. If they compared all Android devices against the aggregate total of iPhones, iPads, and iPod Touches it might frighten the  likes of Motorola, Samsung, and HTC to start actually creating new technology. That isn’t the result for which Apple is paying its army of anti-Apple badgers.

Apple wants the competition soothed and comforted, not alarmed. So they pay their minions to report comforting statistics. The comforting situation report is published on the blogosphere, which lots of geeks think is important. It’s important to geeks. We, as a group, haven’t figured out how utterly insignificant we are in the technology business. We make self-important proclamations all over the internet about how things ought to be. Apple culls our banter for useful nuggets, but largely discards it. The companies who try to give us every possible feature in every device they make are losing. We’re not the market. Apple knows that. We’re the technological 1%. We get the nerdy stuff at some level, but at most we have 1% of the disposable income. From a purely capitalistic viewpoint, we’re dispensable.

The 99% doesn’t know Megabytes from Gigahertz. Further, they don’t care. They want to post a video of their baby boy peeing a fountain during a diaper change on YouTube. Apple sells stuff to the 99%.

And Apple is winning.

If you don’t believe me, check this out. If Apple isn’t paying Joe Wilcox, they should be. He’s doing the very best he can to keep the competition off the trail. He takes an ad in which Samsung scoffs at the line of people in front of an Apple store, and points to it as some kind of cultural victory or something. What kind of victory is it to make fun of the fighting style of somebody who is kicking your ass? Joe writes too well to be that stupid. He’s got to be on the Apple payroll.

Happy Saturday.



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