Google, Tablet, Serena, Nexus, Crotch Shot

June 27th, 2012 · No Comments · General Detritus

You may have noticed my shameless use of post titles lately. Of course, you’d have to visit here to notice and I have no indication that anybody is here but me on most days, so fuck it.

Anyway, Google has announced a Nexus Tablet. It will compete for the “We’re not terribly interested in tablets, but if it’s really cheap we’ll try anything” demographic. Currently this demographic is leaning towards the Kindle Fire, which isn’t selling well – even though it recently slam-jammed the RIM and H-P thingies. You may remember that H-P and RIM recently introduced tablet thingies, or maybe not. They had sales that would compare unfavorably to NRA Memberships at an Obama rally.

Also, Google is going to sell an Apple TV clone. It will do everything Apple’s legacy technology used to do. It will be virtually identical except that it will suck like an ingenue in a roomful of drunk producers.

I shouldn’t pick on Google too much though. They haven’t yet had a demo as bad as the one Microsoft did for the Surface. That could suck a bowling ball flat. Oh, baby. I’m a native Washingtonian. That was painful.

Microsoft is desperate for a hit. Microsoft grew up in a time where they could charge piles of money for their software. Now, nobody needs them anymore. Like an electric teddy bear, they’re rapidly vying for king on the island of misfit toys.

Hasta la vista, MS. You were the top of the heap once. Now you’re Tommy Tutone. They had a hit, too.

 

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