Apple is going to announce earnings for 3Q12 tomorrow afternoon.

Apple will blow away analysts predictions because analysts, as a group, have to gather in groups of  two or more in order to have a combined IQ in triple digits.

The iPad and iPhone have recently started being sold in China. When stores didn’t open on time there were riots. You know it’s just like the crowds Microsoft sees when they open a Microsoft store in Steve Ballmer’s dreams.

I’m hanging on to the Apple stock I have left.

I had to sell a few shares recently. I had something better to do with that money.

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I’ve been reading around and about the innertubes about Android’s market share as opposed to the iPhone or iPad market share. The idiots who write this claptrap deliberately create an uneven playing field. I need somebody to go do the research. I’ll buy enough beer to get me through it, but the research budget is shot.

1. Android can’t have market share. It isn’t for sale. Android is free. Handsets and tablets can have market share.

2. Android devices each have their own market share. If you want to compare Apple’s market share to something pick the device. A phone, a tablet, whatever. Pick a team and let’s play. If you want to compare Android against iOS, then let’s compare all iOS devices (iPod Touch, iPhone, iPad) against all Android devices (except the Kindle Fire which runs Amazon’s OS, not Google’s).

3. Finally, pick a version. Let’s compare iOS 5 against a single version of Android. Eskimo Pie, Honeybucket, Jujubes; It doesn’t matter which version. Just pick one.

Now let’s talk about market share, chumps.

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It’s pretty easy to find a techtard/bloghead yipping like a Jack Russell Terrier with a binder clip on his balls about “Enterprise.” Specifically, that Apple is not winning in Enterprise. As near as I know, and I read a LOT of internet about AAPL, Apple hasn’t really made any kind of a push for an enterprise presence. There is a lot of talk about BYOD (Bring Your Own Doodad) lately, though. BYOD only matters if you’re bringing in something other than a Wintel box. Why would you bring your own Vaio to work if the company was going to give you a top-of-the-line Dell? Who would care? In other words, BYOD means iPads and MacBook Air Jordans.

[Can you say "top of the line Dell" without laughing? Me either.]

BYOD is invading enterprise. BYOD is forcing IT professionals to rethink all kinds of things. For instance, many of them are starting to pay attention to the more polished drive-up window greetings these days. They’re thinking, “I could say, ‘supersize that?’ with a lot more passion.”

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Finally [and I mean that, sincerely] I’d like to spend just a moment talking about Windows 8:

It sucks.

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If you live on the west side of Washington State, you already know: J.P. Patches has died. RIP J.P.

Sally Ride passed today. The first woman into space. Pancreatic cancer. She was 61.