New Year, Same Crap

January 26th, 2013 · No Comments · iPhone, Political Crap, Punditbots and Fundtards

I’m embarking on a new, more sustainable Rip Ragged. From this point forward I’m planning to post once a week on Saturdays. We’ll see how that goes. If that works out, I might, later, start to toss out a few tidbits on the days in between. But just for now I want to start running off at the keyboard at least once a week. Also, the blog is going all electric. I will no longer burn fossil fuels or use chemical fertilizers in the creation of content.

No need to thank me. It’s just another benefit of reading Rip Ragged.

Those of you who watch such things will note that Apple had a record holiday quarter. If you know that, you’ll also know that the price of Apple shares went down a bunch. My initial response to that was, “WTF?”(What’s that for?)

After considering it for a few days, my assessment has changed to “WTF.” (Well, that figures.)

I’ve been reading the analysts. They’re mostly really smart at finance-speak. They don’t get tech. They don’t get Apple. They’re pretty much always wrong on the valuation of every stock.

I bought some more shares of AAPL.

I’ll buy some more if it goes down some more and I can find some more money.

I have an idea. How about a Second Amendment march on Washington?

I’ll bet that would be fun.

One million free men and women. Peacefully armed.

I’ll bet Vice President Joe would have to change his Depends®.

It’d probably be pretty tough to do, though. Unlike the “Occupy” protests, the million-man “2nd Amendment March” would require just about everybody to take the day off work.

There are rumors that Apple is going to introduce the iPhone 6, the iPhone 5S, and the iPhone Lite (or something).

I’m all in with the iPhone 6 rumors. My source, Deep Somethingorother, has informed me that Jony Ive and his crack design team have determined that the next sequential number after 5 is 6. Don’t go spreading this around, though. It’s a deep dark Apple secret.

As for the 5S, I’m pretty sure that’s just made up because of the 4S, which was a one-time thing just for the upgrade from the 4 and was only done to piss off all the punditbots who wanted it to be called the 5.

The iPhone Lite is real.

It will have all the same features of the iPhone 5, with a slightly different screen size and resolution. It will have no gluten, trans-fats, or High Fructose Corn Syrup, and only a trace of sea salt for flavor. The iPhone Lite will be vegan.

The iPhone Lite will cost significantly less than dinner for two at the Metropolitan Grill, including a bottle of a musky, mildly oaky, but unassuming Washington State Cabernet, and of course a slice of New York style cheesecake and a snifter of armagnac for dessert.

One more thing. For the first time in at least 20 years, I’m going to watch the Pro Bowl. It’s an idiotic waste of time, even more than the sport of football in general. The Pro Bowl takes arguably most of the best talent and skills in the league and puts it in harms way for NOTHING. The game doesn’t count. The players on the winning side get something like $25,000.00 more than the players on the losing team for playing the game. Measured against their salaries, 25k is chump change.

The reason I’m watching is because Russell Wilson will play. And for him, with a rookie contract  commensurate with being drafted in the third round, 75th overall, $25k will make a noticeable difference in his take-home pay. Also, I’ll bet a whole bowl of my homemade mushroom-onion and beef stock soup, he plays the game to win the whole time he’s on the field.

Rock on.


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