Wanna Buy a Watch?

March 19th, 2015 · No Comments · General Detritus

 Watch.

There. I said it.


Every company who makes anything electronic is going to introduce something that sits on your wrist. Everybody. Microsoft has the “Band,” now. The Band isn’t really a watch. It isn’t really a band, either, I mean not like the Moody Blues is a band, anyway. Except the Microsoft Band probably also won’t get in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but at least that won’t be a huge travesty. Green Day is in the HOF and not the Moody Blues. That’s a travesty. The Microsoft Band is a wrist thing with a whole bunch of sensors that send data to Redmond to help them figure out how to sell you copies of Windows.

That’s in addition to wrist things from Samsung and Motorola and various others.

The people who already make wrist stuff – Timex, Swatch, TAG Heuer, Rolex, Bulova, Casio, Fossil – are all trying to figure out how to cash in on the new wave of gadgetry.

It’s only a matter of time before GE, Intel, RCA, Sony, Westinghouse, Kenmore, Whirlpool, Black & Decker, Bosch, KitchenAid, and Dyson start making stuff to put on your wrist.

I can’t wait.

Somebody in a foreign country has designed a flying car. Seriously. You’re gonna need to save your milk money for more than a few weeks to get one.

Apple. TV. Apple. TV. It’s all the rage to talk about Apple and TV. Apple has been building massive server farms all over the place. Great monstrous monoliths of yottabytes of data storage. They’re putting in their own power plants to operate the dogdamn things. Who thinks all that is there for mp3 storage and iWork backups?

Apple is about to expose cable as the racket that it is. Comcast is reportedly planning to withhold NBC stuff from Apple. For an analogy, let’s say Apple is going to start a market that sells cars. New cars, used cars, all makes and models, classics and clunkers. In order to flex its considerable muscle, Comcast is going to withhold the only brand it owns – Yugo.

This is going to be fun to watch.


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