Glossary of Rip Ragged Terms

The Glossary of Rip Ragged Terms is a living document. This doesn’t necessarily mean it has an active fungus growing on it, but it doesn’t exclude that, either. The comments are available for entries if you think of something. I’d do a Wiki, but I just hate that term. It sounds like something you’d do at summer camp. Frankly, just thinking about summer camp makes my stomach seize up.

Glossary

Balance: Bullshit (ant. Fact)

Dash-Slut: Slashdot.

DNE – Do No Evil. The reputed motto of a once powerful advertising company with a pretty good search engine. They stole Apple’s intellectual property, poorly imitated it, and sold it as their own. They’re scum.

Echosphere: A swillion-skillion blogs repeating and possibly analyzing the exact same story that may or may not have any basis in fact. (See: unnamed source very close to the situation.)

Fact: Fact (ant. Balance)

iPhone – Unless otherwise noted, all iPhone references include the iPod Touch.

iPhone Killer – Technologically inferior knock-off of the iPhone not available for purchase. Billed as “a shot across Apple’s bow,” “a threat to the iPhone’s dominance,” or “a more open and user friendly mobile device.” Note: When an iPhone Killer becomes available for purchase it loses its iPK status, and becomes merely a “second rate piece of shit,” or, simply, “not an iPhone.”

Master Jobst Fimil – Steve Jobs. His Steveness. El Jobso.

“Unnamed source very close to the situation”: n. Fictional character with fictional information; generally used to bolster idiotic speculation by bashers.

Zune – n. nothing. nada. zero; adj. meaningless, not worth mentioning, absurd; v. to render meaningless, useless or silly, “I hope Vista doesn’t zune my Dell.”